Alright, so a few things are happening now. The first is that I’ll be releasing a new book soon (details to come) and the second thing is that I’ll be going back to work Monday.
This year, I’m excited that I’ll actually be inside of a classroom that has my name on the door all official-like. While I was still an Associate Teacher in my long-term assignment, my name was on the door with a sticky note. Seriously.
Anyways, it’s going to be different this year. More stable. More pay. More responsibility. I’m not going to complain because I signed up for this.
Man, things are really looking up career wise, and I owe so many of my blessings to God. Seriously. If not for him I would still be living out of my mothers room with barely enough work and gas money to function.
I have a story for that last part. But I think that’s going to be better served in another post. I already feel a tangent coming on.
Anyways, so here I am, 25, single and a teacher. The complete freedom of weekends, holidays and a full two months leave… with pay. I would venture to say that those are all good things.
It’s two o’clock in the morning and I’m awake. Fact is, I can’t sleep. So much on my mind about my new job title and everything that means, as well as saying goodbye to Summer 16 and getting back into the swing of having a strict bedtime so that I can make it to work the next day.
I know right now that this is going to be the hardest part.
Still, there’s something else on my mind. Someone is more like it. The same depressing issue that I keep coming back to. It’s a strange thing though because I received a phone call around ten o’clock from my mother. She said something that didn’t exactly sound like it was coming from her, but more like someone was speaking to me through her.
I’ll admit that sounds a little weird.
Let’s just pretend that last part didn’t happen.
What she told me was about either addressing an issue head-on or letting it run it’s course. Either way there are going to be upsets. The thing is, I didn’t really process what she was trying to tell me until just now. I was lying in bed when it hit me: don’t allow the situation to run it’s course! In the end that option is going to do more harm than good.
I can see it all clearly.
Does it stop me from feeling the way I do? Not really. Does it prompt me to change? Absolutely!
I have worked VERY hard to get to the position I’m in now. I’ve overcame so much negativity about myself and my abilities to be treated like I’m not good enough. The only person who has the say-so in that department is me.
You know those moments when people make you feel like you’re the person they talk to when the person they REALLY want to talk to isn’t available?
Forget those moments.
Forget those people.
You are enough.
Once you realize within yourself that you have the power over your emotions the better off you’ll be. You are NOT second choice or second best.
People only have the power you give them. Right now, I’m choosing to take my power back.